Who's Up for Some Charlie Sheen Linguistic Analysis?

Yes, there are some people with not enough to do. There are even more people with so little to do or focus on they write an article about the original analysis of Charlie Sheen's speech patterns. The source of the enlightening piece? Salon, which couldn't rely simply on bashing Sarah Palin. At least they're good for some sort of entertainment once in a while.

One example:

Sheen's breakout role was playing a grunt in Platoon, and he's still playing it. "Sniper team one, sniper team one, take 'em out," he joked, during an interview with TMZ, when he appeared to spot paparazzi. Many of his favorite metaphors are military ones. "I'm dealing with soft targets," he said, referring to his enemies, "and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee." The aircraft he most identifies with? "Most of the time—and this includes naps—I'm an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air, and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground." He can be other weapons, too. "He might be Nails," Sheen said on a radio show, referring to the center fielder Lenny Dykstra by his nickname, "but I'm frickin' bayonets, you know? I'm battle tested, man." Sheen's fight with CBS over Two and a Half Men is not a mere skirmish. "We are at war," he says. "Defeat is not an option."

Truly a god among us mere mortals!

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