Well, that’s not exactly precise. Going with that definition, I would hate everybody, even myself. I don’t mind it whenever there are two standards, so long as people are upfront about having two different sets of standards.
For instance, I’m not about to tell you that I am -in a phrase that will drive any liberals reading nuts- fair and balanced. I’m conservative, and approach things from a conservative viewpoint. There may be times when I can see the liberal or moderate or __________ viewpoint, and I will try to enunciate that viewpoint as well as I can. If I am reporting on an event, I will try to do so i a neutral manner, but I am sure that my conservative viewpoint will leak through. You will, however, know what my standards are and where I stand on any particular issue.
So let me try that again.
I despise people who do the above while presenting themselves as not having said different sets of standards.
With that being said, I now present to you a letter to the editor that appeared a couple of months ago in my local newspaper. It is from one Linda Farrell of Bella Vista, and she writes:
Driven to life of crimeI may commit a really serious crime very soon.
I’d like to kidnap the next person I hear say he is voting Republican in the next election. My victim would be physically unrestrained and well treated in a classy hotel with all the amenities and no limits on food, drink or macadamia nuts. He would communicate his well-being daily to his family via email. But he would be held under a few nonnegotiable restrictions.
He would not be allowed access to the so-called news program that fronts for the right wing and passes itself off as journalism.
He’d hear all of President Barack Obama’s campaign speeches, in full, without editing.
He’d be forced, under pain of my annoyance, to read the following: a 21st Century science book, a non-revisionist history book, a seventh-grade civics book, Bill McKibben’s Eaarth, Jerry Coyne’s Why Evolution is True, a nonpartisan economics book and every word of the U.S. Constitution. For company, he’d get visits from a single mom, a pregnant teen rape victim,a homeless veteran, a gay person, a guy whose job was shipped overseas by Bain, a welfare recipient, and representatives of every racial, ethnic, social and political group he hates for no logical reason.
He’d be released on Nov. 6th, sporting a tattoo of the president’s birth certificate on his posterior. Hopefully he’d be better-informed, more compassionate and more aware of his responsibility to seek the truth and vote in the best interests of all of us. One can only hope.
Now, I was going to let this go. I wasn’t going to rip into this little sanctimonious screed. I was just going to let it roll off my back and not get excited about it. I wasn’t going to write a letter to the editor ripping into this. I definitely wasn’t going to write about it here.
(I’m trying to not be so argumentative. I’ve noticed lately that whenever a liberal writes something stupid, I have to jump on my intellectual horse and ride that stupidity underneath my hooves. I’ve been doing that a lot lately.
A lot.)
So this letter appeared, and, with some deep breathing exercises, I was able to let it pass on by.
And then, early last week, Linda wrote another letter to the editor. Here is what she wrote:
Commandments For GOPMonday, December 10, 2012
I shall accept the fact that President Barack Obama has been reelected and the people have spoken.
I shall never again ignore the needs and concerns of minorities, the poor, the middle class, women and any other constituencies .
I shall remember that a salary, benefits, perks and the prestige of high oftce are not automatically my rights but must be continuously earned as I execute my duties with honor, humility, maturity and respect for all with whom I labor - superiors, colleagues and subordinates alike.
I shall not pledge my allegiance to any individual, corporation, theology, media power or special interest group lest such pledges cloud my better judgment and displace my loyalties to the people I serve.
I shall put the people, always, over my party aftliation and political ambitions.
I shall try earnestly to better educate myself on economics, civics, history, world geography, and science so that I may properly serve the electorate.
I shall never forget that voting is the right and privilege of every American and will do nothing to interfere with that right.
I shall concentrate on the proper business of government - education, the economy, defense.
Foreign policy and climate change - and leave personal, private issues to each citizen as a right of conscience.
I shall show courage in all my deliberations, regardless of personal or political consequences and remind myself daily that power is derived from the “consent of the governed” and is as fleeting as their will.
Now, I’m a patient guy. I usually don’t let such stupidity get to me.
But whenever I read such sanctimonious claptrap with an accompanying helping of smugness, I can’t resist the urge to put my stomping boots on and start stomping some heads into the ground. And I don’t think its fair to hold back our passions, right?
So let’s jump right into fisking this little idiot, shall we?
Let’s take the earlier letter first.
Driven to life of crimeI may commit a really serious crime very soon.
If I had my way, stupidity would be a crime. And there would be nobody to protest it, because nearly all of the liberals would be in prison. Vote for me!
I’d like to kidnap the next person I hear say he is voting Republican in the next election.
Because people need your help, right Linda? There’s that open-mindedness and tolerance for others that liberals are known for.
My victim would be physically unrestrained and well treated in a classy hotel with all the amenities and no limits on food, drink or macadamia nuts. He would communicate his well-being daily to his family via email.
I’m going to resist the urge to point out that this fulfills one of Rush Limbaugh’s 35 Undeniable Truths of Life: Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. Because you know that Ms. (pronounced Miz, as in miz-erable old cow) Farrell is a feminist.
Oops! Guess I didn’t resist that urge all that well, did I?
But he would be held under a few non-negotiable restrictions.He would not be allowed access to the so-called news program that fronts for the right wing and passes itself off as journalism.
News programs that fronts for the left wing and passes itself off as journalism is just fine and dandy, however.
He’d hear all of President Barack Obama’s campaign speeches, in full, without editing.
I think that qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment.
He’d be forced, under pain of my annoyance, to read the following: a 21st Century science book, a non-revisionist history book,
Non-revisionist from whose perspective, Linda?
a seventh-grade civics book,
I’m guessing so that she find out what happens next year in school.
Bill McKibben’s Eaarth,
Noope.
Jerry Coyne’s Why Evolution is True,
Only if I get to counter with a book of Apologetics of my choice.
a nonpartisan economics book
Got bad news for you, Linda: economics has a conservative bias.
and every word of the U.S. Constitution.
Gladly. I enjoy reading the Constitution. And while we’re at it, maybe Linda will be able to point out for me where in the Constitution there is justification for some of her favorite social programs. A teaching moment might occur.
For company, he’d get visits from a single mom, a pregnant teen rape victim,a homeless veteran, a gay person, a guy whose job was shipped overseas by Bain, a welfare recipient, and representatives of every racial, ethnic, social and political group he hates for no logical reason.
So, nobody would be visiting, then.
He’d be released on Nov. 6th, sporting a tattoo of the president’s birth certificate on his posterior.
Which birth certificate, Linda? There’s no fewer than three. I’m guessing Linda means the one signed by that great guitarist, U. K. L. Lee.
And notice the sexual suggestiveness inherent in Linda’s wish? Unless you know of some other way to put a tattoo on a man’s bare buttocks without him getting naked? There’s that Undeniable Truth of Life popping up again.
Hopefully he’d be better-informed, more compassionate and more aware of his responsibility to seek the truth and vote in the best interests of all of us. One can only hope.
Nope, not condescending at all. Won’t Linda be a bit disheartened when she finds out that the average conservative is better-informed, more compassionate, and more aware than she is? That must be one of those inconvenient truths I keep hearing about.
Well, let’s stagger on to the next milepost of stupidity.
Commandments For GOPMonday, December 10, 2012
I shall accept the fact that President Barack Obama has been reelected and the people have spoken.
Hey Linda? You’re gonna find this hard to believe, but it was kind of easy to get over a poor choice. The American people have made bad decisions before (see Carter, Jimmuh, and Clinton, Bill), they’ll make them again in the future.
I shall never again ignore the needs and concerns of minorities, the poor, the middle class, women and any other constituencies .
Hmm, how interesting. What a throwaway line, eh?
I shall remember that a salary, benefits, perks and the prestige of high office are not automatically my rights but must be continuously earned as I execute my duties with honor, humility, maturity and respect for all with whom I labor - superiors, colleagues and subordinates alike.
Let’s have a moment of awkward silence, shall we?
So far as I know, there is no overlap in any of those links. In other words, there shouldn’t be any duplication among the Democrats’ / liberals’ hypocrisy. If there is, let me know. I’m sure I can find more examples. Lord knows, these were on the first page of the Google search “liberal hypocrisy" from a search that comes up with over 10 million results. There’s not exactly a dearth of examples of liberal hypocrisy.
I shall not pledge my allegiance to any individual, corporation, theology, media power or special interest group lest such pledges cloud my better judgment and displace my loyalties to the people I serve.
But Linda? You just finished telling us not to ignore the voices of the minorities, the poor, the downtrodden? Or do they not qualify as a "special interest group"?
Hey, does this mean that the Democrats will cut their ties with the NAA(L)CP? The NOW gang and other womynists? Planned Parenthood? The UAW, SEIU, and other agitators?
Yeah, I’m sure that’s going to happen.
I shall put the people, always, over my party aftliation [sic] and political ambitions.
Yeah, I’m sure that’s on the next Democratic Party meeting’s agenda, as well.
I shall try earnestly to better educate myself on economics,
Right! Like how spending $1 in unemployment insurance returns $2!
civics,
Right! Like how liberals in 2000 thought that the popular vote was good enough to win the Presidency. Hey, to be fair, its been several months since I’ve heard a liberal complain that Bush was selected, not elected. Boy, that never gets old, eh? Twelve years, and still we hear the sniveling of little liberal minds, chewing their defeats like old vomit.
history,
Right! Like how liberals are unaware that, under four Presidents (Hoover, Kennedy, Reagan, and Bush), taxes were cut and record levels of revenue resulted!
world geography,
Right! Like the Democratic congress critter that thought that the island of Guam would tip over if we built up our military presence there! Don’t talk to me about not anticipating that! We must think outside the box!
and science
Well.... there were "100 physicists against Einstein"
so that I may properly serve the electorate.I shall never forget that voting is the right and privilege of every American
NO! Stop right there! Voting is not a right AND a privilege. It is one, or the other. It is not both.
If it is a right, then why does the Democratic Party work so hard every election to deny the votes of our military? If it is a right, then everyone MUST vote. No ifs, ands, or buts. Try enforcing that.
And every vote MUST be counted.
Most especially, our citizens in the military.
and will do nothing to interfere with that right.
So will the Democratic Party stop trying to make difficult the votes of our military? Yeah, I’m sure that’s next on the agenda, as well.
I shall concentrate on the proper business of government - education, the economy, defense, foreign policy, and climate change - and leave personal, private issues to each citizen as a right of conscience.
Oh please. On the plus side, she did get three out of five right as to the proper business of the federal government.
Unfortunately, those three are the only three that are the business of the federal government.
I shall show courage in all my deliberations, regardless of personal or political consequences and remind myself daily that power is derived from the “consent of the governed” and is as fleeting as their will.
Right! The people are only one instigation away from “torches and pitchforks”!
Man, I hate stupid people.
And just for this part of the year, Bah Humbug!
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