7-Year-Old Suspended from School for Playing Imaginary Game

This may very well be the dumbest thing I have heard of in my life. 7-year-old Alex Evans was suspended from Loveland, Colorado's Mary Blair Elementary School. His crime? Playing an imaginary game during recess.

Ever play cops and robbers? Cowboys and Indians? Young Evans was doing something quite similar with his boyish imagination: pretending that he was a super hero and playing a game he called "saving the world."

According to the boy, he was pretending to help the earth from "evil forces" that only he could see. He pretended to throw an imaginary grenade (which in reality, was nothing but air and imagination) into a box to vanquish his foes.

“I pretended the box, there’s something shaking in it, and I go ‘pshhh,’” he explained.

Evans

That's when the school stepped in to stop his 'impermissible' behavior. Alex had violated one of Mary Blair Elementary School's "absolutes," or rules that cannot be broken under any circumstances.

The list of "absolutes" reads (emphasis mine):

The ABSOLUTES for Mary Blair Elementary:
1. No Physical Abuse or Fights – real or “play fighting”
2. No weapons (real or play), illegal drugs (including tobacco) or alcohol
3. No serious disrespect toward people or property (includes, but is not limited: profanity, racial slurs, deliberately refusing to follow a staff directive, graffiti, etc.)

In other words, seven-year-old Evans was suspended for pretending to save the world. His imagination, his thoughts, are, according to Mary Blair Elementary School, as bad as drinking, taking drugs, or screaming racial slurs.

“I was trying to save people and I just can’t believe I got dispended,” Evans said sorrowfully about being "suspended."

Is it time for imaginary gun control?

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