Exclusive: Is Mr. K the New Joe?

MIDDLEBURGH, NY:

Months of frenzied speculation may soon be coming to an end as blog writers for the small political blog Pundit Press look at its current state. Blogger "Mr. K" has been writing for the blog for years now, gaining minor fame for breaking stories that hit the pages of Michelle Malkin and Instapundit.

However, now in his old age, Mr. K has been slowly moving backwards. His quantity of articles has dropped over 50% in the last three years and so has the hits. While an article on Gears of War may garner 100 hits, it is nowhere near his earlier heyday.

Pressed on this turn of events, Mr. K has often been compared to Pundit Press's other wandering writer, Joe C. While Joe rarely writes, he often has excuses such as having a gluten overdose or going to law school.

Mr. K tried to ward off criticism by promising to write more. Still, it seems like his promises are falling short.

The author was sparse on details. Mr. K told our reporter, "Um. Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man. Did you see that NCAA game last night?" while licking peanut butter off his fingers.

He has other excuses, but his frequent updating of facebook shows him to be on the computer or his phone incessantly.

Pundit Press authors Thomas and Aurelius hope for Mr. K's eventual rehabilitation, but explain that it may never come.

"Sometimes I think Tim [Mr. K] just can't handle moving all of those boxes at work," said Aurelius, "He's writing less than when he had dialup on a barely functioning desktop."

"I think he's been doing something else," said blogger Thomas, making a fellatio motion with his hands and mouth. "It's the only thing that makes sense."